Tales from the Bar Mitzvah

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There’s no doubt that bar mitzvah’s are some of the most special events imaginable. They are quite literally a lifetime in the making and let’s face it, a year in the organising. Done right they are a night you never forget. They can be beautifully chaotic, or run with military precision, but either way love, thought and attention goes into making each one perfect.

So, is there a secret to getting it right? We looked back at the many we have been lucky to perform at and asked a few opinions from those we’ve met along the way to find out if and what is the secret to success.

“A friend of mine had Jedward perform, and I was dubious, but it worked. A good bar mitzvah should make you feel young.”

 “Trust me, there are at least two people more nervous than the man of the hour.”


To make something unforgettable takes organisation. Lots of organisation. Unless you have been involved in one you would not believe how much work is involved. Just the parking can be a logistical challenge. Proper planning is most certainly the key. Picture the process of arrival; where is the entrance? What do the guests see? Where will the host greet them? Where can the presents be placed? If you can picture it you can create it.

“Never underestimate Invitations. They set the tone.”

“Phillip Green spent five million on one. Organise one and you can understand how.”


With any event identity is the key to making it memorable. Making yours stand out is the real trick when you think there can be dozens a month, or even a week during peak season. The advantage of all of these is that it gives you a great insight into the options to consider, abandon, or perhaps, improve upon. Another great reason to consider the events identity is to ensure that it’s personalised to the soon to be man, so that they can recall it vividly, to make it as unique as they are. Ask yourself – emotionally, what do you want the guests to feel across the night?

“It sounds really bad, but every one I go to I’m auditioning ideas for my own sons.”

 “To theme or not to theme, now that is really the question.”

The Venue.

Having played most of the great venues in the UK and abroad for that matter we regularly advise our clients on this. But whichever one you choose book well in advance. Even in a big city there is a limit to how many venues can accommodate a good one, and fewer still that can leave you speechless.

It’s also important that the venue itself suits the personality of the event. It is the first thing guests see and therefore the first talking point. It also dictates what you can and can’t do and how many people it holds is the definitive stopping point for the guest list.

Unique. I think that’s what we really want.” 

“Tablecloths. For me it’s all about the tablecloths.”


We work at parties and we love our job, so this is our own area of expertise. In our experience they are some of the most fun parties to perform at, but they are never to be taken lightly. There is no other event with such a range of ages and interests, not even a wedding, not even close. This is where bespoke entertainment really comes into its own. If the entertainment comes off a rack so to speak, then it’s been seen before, if it’s designed for, and around you then it helps build identity and make it even more memorable.

So DJ or live music? Well, both have advantages. A bar mitzvah DJ is not the same as a regular DJ. A bar mitzvah DJ must have a real sense of the appropriate and yet still make it fun and accessible to all, which is a gift with a lot of modern music. Likewise for live music, though in this case the singers themselves are actually in the room and can react to move and inspire the audience.

Good questions to ask of your entertainment are how many have they have previously played, and what makes them different to the competition? They’re fair question and if they can’t answer either, then there’s probably a reason.

We hope this helps. Here’s to a spectacular night remembered forever, from all the team at Incognito Artists.

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