Geoff’s 5 tips for a lifelong love affair

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Quite often in my life people have poked fun at my good relationship with myself.  Arrogance, confidence,  healthy self-esteem, call it what you will, I learned early on in life that it pays dividends to believe in yourself – why not back yourself and be your own advocate?!  You’re stuck with yourself, right!  So make it a lifelong love affair.


From one legend to another, I think that self-confidence is a natural result of being ourselves, regardless of outside opinion, and reveling in our unique gifts.  Why waste time in this precious life of ours doing anything else?


As Simone and I now navigate our girls through their pre-teen years and hear a lot about ‘I want to be the same as my friends,’ or ‘what will they think of me…?’ I realise that it always does more harm than good if you compare yourself to anyone else.


Do I have millions of pounds?  No.  Do I have a holiday home in Monaco or Florida?  No.  Do I fly by private jet or first class?  No.  But should I think that I’m inferior to anyone who does?  No thanks!


Okay, of course I care about what other people think — we all want to be liked, that’s normal! But frankly I don’t want to waste my time worrying about what others’ think or thinking I’m better than anyone else because the irony is people who aren’t overly focused on what other people think tend to be very likable!


Do we care too much about what other people think?  Do we care too much about comparing our successes to others’ achievements?  It’s all just our thinking anyway, our interpretation of life in any given moment.   So if insecurity raises its head, we can recognize that imposter for what it is and brush it away.


Think about a person you admire; someone who is confident, kind, strong, and not consumed with fear or concerned with others’ judgement.  Do you find this person attractive in some way?


Generally people who aren’t consumed with what others think are highly attractive to us.


This week, I invite you to focus on yourself in a positive way, letting go of what other people think:


  1. Make a list of what you appreciate about yourself.


You’re awesome. You’re unique. There isn’t anyone on the planet who is exactly like you. Let’s celebrate that!


  1. Make a list of who/what you want to become.


We are all constantly evolving, learning and growing.  What is next for you?  Write your goals down on paper.  Think about your hopes and dreams for the future and honour them and your belief in yourself.


  1. Spend quality time with yourself (at least 30 minutes daily).


Quality time is important in all relationships, including with yourself!  Make time to S-L-O-W down and be present to everything you’re grateful for.  Enjoy doing something you love and relish it.


  1. Get to know your fears.


Nothing boosts confidence quite like making it through challenges. By facing your fears and doing it anyway, you prove to yourself what you’re made of.  Go on, show those fears who’s boss!


  1. Do something nice for yourself today.


‘This is your day, a world to win, great purpose to achieve. Accept the challenge of your goals and in yourself believe!’  That’s the Sewell family mantra that I grew up with.


Or to quote the musical ‘Rent’ – no day but today.  This is it, it’s a gift, so that’s why they call it ‘the present’.  Okay, enough quotes.  But go on, make it GREAT.  And if things are not going so well for you today, then it’s even more important to do something nice for yourself.


A ‘nice thing’ could be anything that makes you happy — take a walk in the sunshine or in nature, pat yourself on the back, smile at yourself in the mirror (the mirror and I have an intimate relationship), play tennis or read a book – just treat yourself with kindness and respect.  You deserve it.


The more you love and accept yourself, the less you’ll focus on what other people think. And, ironically, the less you focus on what other people think, the more attractive you become.


It’s time to face up to it. We rock!




P.S. The team at Incognito Artists are a very rocking, likable, attractive bunch who are definitely experienced in making people feel happy – so if you want to dance, sing, wave your arms in the air, stand on chairs, and all the time have a huge smile on your face, then give us a call!  We know exactly how to make all that happen.

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